You gotta be kidding me!
by Astrolita Karastase
Summary: I suck at summaries so... Ames White and Max Guevera and my version of the unlikely story of how they end up together. Warnings: explicit, mature language and themes, immature adults at times.
1. Chapter 1: Dream a little of me

Disclaimer: Well I obviously don't own this or earn any profit from this story. Cuz if I did, you know that Max would never ever end up with Logan. They would be just friends. And she would have something heavy going on with Alec, or anyone else besides Logan. I just feel that relationship too weird. Brrrr.

Strangely enough I am writing about another strange relationship. But since this one is so rare and somehow so delicious even though unlikely. Hope you enjoy. This is probably going to be AU after last episode of the s2 TV series. Maybe I'll add stuff from the books. And I am definitely going to add cool stuff from different short fanfics on the that I read that never quite made it into long stories.

Summary: White/Max story. Not sure where this is going yet or what is ahead. I will add more as it shapes up. (Suggestions and dirty fantasies to spur me on in reviews are always welcome.)

(~_^)

She felt strange. Yet again. Stupid heat. It was like she had an annoying itch somewhere not quiet within reach. Like a buzzing mosquito in her ear but not in her field of vision. She hated it. She felt so unfocused as if she could easily loose control if she weren't careful. And she could. She did it before after all. No matter what she tried to do her mind kept going into the gutter.

Tapping her foot impatiently she was half-listening to the conversation between Logan, Mole and Luke. She didn't dare leave the Command Center of TC because what they were discussing was too important. She was just happy that it was pretty empty here today and as long as she concentrated hard enough she could control herself.

"We can. But at what cost?" asked Luke.

"All you have to do is get into that hospital and get me the records" kept insisting Logan. It seems as always he believed that he was right and that he knew completely what he was asking.

"You don't know what you are asking! You ordi... humans think we have no limits, but I'll be damned if I let a team of my comrades walk right into the creepy cult's baby nest and medical facility to steal you a bunch of papers that proves that there is a whole horde of freaks out there besides us!" said Mole and then followed up with "Plus what's that gonna do? I don't see how opening that whole can of worms will help us."

"Don't you understand?! I... We can prove that the whole lot of stories going around about you transgenic is just stuff made up by the Familiars to eliminate the competition in the "super-human" department. Get the general public to start questioning their views on how you aren't just killers."

"Well I think it's suicide and I am not going to order those that trust me to go and die for a mission I am not even sure we need to do." Mole said with finality.

"I think we should ask if anyone wants to volunteer and ask how many think this a good idea before we go for it Logan. I am glad you found that trail you kept searching for and found a hospital through which Familiar babies go through to make sure they aren't born with any problems before they even allow parents to grow them or if they do find something "not perfect" kill them and tell unsuspecting non-Familiar parent that child was born weak and didn't survive. Exposing that and that Familiars exist could be useful but I still think we should sit on this, it might turn against us", Luke also felt this conversation was coming to an end for now.

Logan (as always) hated to be brushed off even after he spent his precious time collecting all the info and going out of his skin to find this place. And what a find! A hospital through which all Familiars born in Seattle went through during birth or Familiars in general went through when injured. He had to convince them that this was a way to go.

"Max help me out here! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If we miss this and they get wind of us knowing about that hospital, we are never going to find where they will move it to next! Max? MAX!" Logan disliked that dazed look in her eyes.

Max was focused on someone else entirely right now. Alec had just walked in and he had no shirt! His upper body, chiseled and somewhat sweaty after a workout, had a few drops of sweat slowly going down his torso. Her feverish overcharged body and gutter-y mind went blank for a moment just following those few drops. Her hormones flared and as a fellow X5 with similar problems he stopped dead in his tracks and felt heat rising within him as as a response to the smell she gave off. Slowly Max's mouth took a shape of a smirk-smile. Predatory and very hungry. As if in trance Alec came up and to Max and they started making out slow then more aggressive right in front of camera through which Logan kept watching them.

Logan's expression became more hurt by the second. After they put up a newly painted flag carrying the hope of all transgenics and Max let Logan hold her hand albeit heavily gloved, he hoped that the whole Max and Alec thing was just a phase and she was finally ready to give them more time to find a cure and work things out. And maybe it wasn't even a phase and she just lied to make it easier on both of them. If he wasn't sure before, he was sure now that Alec and Max DID happen. Now he could see that holding his hand was just a weak emotional moment and she didn't mean anything by it. At least not anything romantic. Forgetting he was trying to convince someone of something he just pressed the shut down button on his computer not bothering to say goodbye or anything else. He needed a drink. Badly.

(~_^)

Luke and Mole meanwhile looked on at Alec and Max for a minute longer. Not like they haven't seen X1-X5 and their weird heat moments coming out of nowhere. Nomalies had that happening to them sometimes as well. Albeit not to all of them. Manticore only figure out how to stop heat completely from occurring after X5s and worked out temporary cure for X1s-X5s since changing DNA of already developed teenagers in numbers so large was still a bit too extreme. It had to be re-administered once a year but after Max blew up the DNA storage, and they needed a bit of a different tactic not to slowdown the pace of whatever it is they were doing, Breeding Program appeared. The main reason the makeshift hospital here in TC was full of pregnant women and newborn babies right now. Finally deciding to help their friends snap out of it, and a little disgusted at seeing Max starting to take of Alec's pants right in front of him, Mole hit them both right in that upper middle back part of the skull that makes you instantly hurt and gives a headache. (You know, the one where your hair grow in opposite direction from each other. )

Max and Alec both stopped immediately and looking on in horror at the other's proximity, then at Mole and Luke, got out of reach from each other in seconds. Alec groaned and left the room not even being able to remember why he came there in the first place. Max, still heavily panting might I add, suddenly felt as if she was dirty rabid animal. She always felt that way when she was in heat and lost control. Suddenly she remembered about Logan. Turning around to the computer screen she saw that he wasn't there anymore. Just as she was about to curse everything, her life and here genes and her heat and Alec and Logan and herself, she realized that this was for the better. After all wasn't it her that told Logan they are finished and she was with Alec now. This should help cement that in his head and at the same time close that path for her love-life forever so they both had no choice but to move on. Still feeling feverishly hot and missing the feel of Alec's body all over her own, she turned on the heel of her boots and very annoyed with everything left without a word. Mole and Luke looked at each other and Mole made a throw up face which is hard to describe considering his "unique" looks. 'Fuck I am gonna gag just remembering that I was about to see naked Alec in all his X5-ness naked glory.'Seriously Manticore was messed up for everything they did. Brrr. Heat. Lucky he never had it.

Going to her quarters in TC, Max stepped it to take a cold shower. Then a cold bath. Still feeling hot after the water got warmer she refilled the bathtub with ice cold water yet again. Slowly turning into a prune she though about Logan and Alec and everything else in her life while having inner debates and arguments trying to get her mind off the annoying "itch" in her nether regions.

'Logan. Hmmm. Don't get me wrong. I still feel for him. I just don't know what. Thing is: with him it's like we are already married without the whole dating beforehand. No sex and with virus not even touching. Yet we know each other long enough that the little quirks stop looking so unique and charming and become annoying at times', she thought to herself.

A little voice in a back of her head replied with 'What marriage? Even the arranged marriage couples had sex at least once, if you know what I mean. Face it bitch, he is a friend who is like a family. You wanted it to be romantic but deep down you knew it wasn't. You just wanted to be the "normal" girl and girlfriend... with a human. Hell girl, even you and Alec have more chemistry then you and Logan.'

'Alec? Smart-ass Alec? I kicked him in a nuts and ready to kill him half the time Alec? Oh man don't get me started on that can of worms. I mean first I hated him because he had Ben's face. Then I got to know him and got comfy. I mean we just made out because of heat and I don't even especially care. But honestly if I saw him that way not just as 'He has a hot bod and I have a very annoying itch to scratch' I would be bothered. But I am not. I guess he got friend-zoned without possibility of ever reaching higher because of Ben's face. Alec is Alec but Manticore should have really not cloned people. It's interesting but freaky. It's like a large nature vs. nurture experiment. '

'Hey who said it's friend OR lover. There is always friends with benefits. C'mon you know you'd want to hit it. You just know it.'

'Tch. Bad girl inner Max. Stop the dirty and get out that gutter. Think problems, think repulsive, think sad.'

'Kendra and that officer'

'Bleh'

'Lydecker had at least one girl somewhere.'

'EEEW that's like imagining your parents having sex"

'Ames White'

Max flashed back to when he held her captive. Reading the signs all over her body, ripping away her clothes in some places and unbuttoning in others. Muscular hands. Well built. Holding her. Touching her.

'Who is a bad girl now?' quipped at her Inner Max.

At that she started remembering his facial expression as he hunted her kind down. The bomb in Alec's skull base. The many dead transgenics. And now she felt sick. She began scrubbing now, her skin quickly becoming raw and all signs of arousal gone. She hated heat. It made her feel like a screwed up science lab experiment. A freak. How could she even think of White in that context if only just for a moment.

(~_^)

Ames White meanwhile was pissed off, stressed, and tired. He needed to get it all out. Best way to relax is get your frustration out on something sexual if there is nothing else nearby to relax you. Masturbation or prostitute his only 2 choices now that his wife was dead. He didn't have time for a relationship. Not with the damned transgenics on the loose and 452 a constant thorn in his side that he needed to get rid of ASAP or she could ruin the plans Conclave had for centuries. Thinking that calling for a prostitute is too much trouble he decided on the first option. Trying to recall something to arouse him he started with his dead wife. Her cooking dinner half naked. Then to that hot familiar he had to work with when 452 was barricaded with a few other freaks in that messenger service. So in control she she chained him to the wall and played dirty with her tongue. Getting tired of that image he tried recalling another hot female he might have been attracted to. 452 came to mind. Pleasing to the eye he imagined how he would break her. Kill her friends first and the leave her for last. How she would beg to let her live and he would tell her to get on her knees with her hands tied behind her back. His thoughts becoming more and more sadistic and sick he finally finished. However when done he felt sick. Not because of what he imagined doing to HER. But because of what he imagined HE was doing to her. 452 really brought out the worst in him. Brought him down and corrupted him turning to the point of raw sadism. He hated her. It. Because of father, because of her dirty lab made genetic abomination of a body, because she kept evading him and he had yet to seriously injure her not to mention kill her. He had to do it faster. She could get in a way of The Coming. She took away Ray. She could ruin his plans. She started to assemble transgenics together and that made it harder to kill them all since now they had each other's backs. 'I will kill her. Eventually.'


	2. Chapter 2: He did what?

Max walked through the doors of Logan's current place of residence.

Behind her a few steps away Alec. Awkward after the whole make-out session right in front of him a few days ago.

"Sup Logan." Alec put on his usual mask of not caring.

"Hello. Alec. Max." Logan was somewhat cold and removed. But he still squeezed out a smile.

"We decided that we will be sending someone for those files afterall." said Max.

A few days ago, the morning after that awkward moment, Max was almost caught and killed by White and his men near one of the 4 exits from TC that police had no idea about. This time he came with even more firepower and even more intent on killing her if that was even possible. This time it didn't seem that he wanted to even catch her alive and interrogate her. Just kill her as fast as possible. 'Guess he gave up on finding Ray then.' thought Max to herself. It was worrying that he found out about that passageway and ambushed them. Now they had to tighten the guard around it even more then before. Everyone was tense. Maybe it was time to strike Conclave where they weren't expecting it.

"Well who is going?" asked Logan.

"I am", said Max "and a few others with me."

"But you are the leader. Shouldn't you stay behind and be safe within TC? What would happen if you got hurt?" asked Logan. Max read a hint of worry in his face.

"No I will do this myself." 'Aww.' Logan was sweet if you didn't count the part that he was the one sending them on the mission and apperently had less regard for lives of all transgenics who weren't her.

(~.^)

2 hours later Max, Alec and a few other X4, X5 and X6 transgenics were well on their way to the location Logan gave them. Total team of 12 of them divided into 3 groups of 4. Max, Alec, Jace (who Max was happy to have now that she could raise her daughter safely behind the walls of TC) and Lucky (who was named that after the close call when he was almost killed by a deadly virus targeting specifically transgenics, but not before he was caught and LET go by none other then White and his goons) or otherwise know as X5-692. Thos 4 were in the 'control' group. They mostly stayed out on the look out for quick getaway or back-up and extraction. Group 2 was made up of 2 X6 and 2 X4. Their job was to infiltrate unnoiticed and get the documents proving existance of familiars and holding a long list of information on their enemy's abilities and physical characteristics as well as the knowledge of who some of the familiars were and what they looked liked. Group 3 was made up of 3 X4 and 1 X5. Zane. He came back into Seattle after he was compromised when news got out that transgenics were on the lose. He heard about TC being a place where many of them showed up and decided to try his luck. Plus he was a dang good mechanic. Could fix any old peace of junk and make it a working and nice piece of technology. He and Jace refused to let Max go without them. Group 3 in which Zane was now in, was in charge of distraction and actual combat. Idea Max didn't like. She wanted to make him stay with her and let Alec go but Zane only refused and said he hadn't kicked much of any worthy ass recently and what could be better then familiars who couldn't feel pain? The three X4 in his group ensured her that they would look after him. Max ended up trusting them and their expirience of countless dangerous missions to do just that.

"Ok start now" was a command Max gave after they equipped themselves and sat in few minutes in silence preparing themselves.

(~.^)

He couldn't believe it! Those FREAKS attacked their hospital. Sanctuary for wounded familiars and newly born future familiars. They didn't just attack. They stole files. He was at the scene as soon as he got a call. 4 of them were shooting off left and right, barricaded themselves inside a room within a nursery and made sure no one could come up to them. Meanwhile who knows how many others stole files in another room and for all he knew were already back on their way to transgenic central, the home of the freaks. He had to get this situation under control NOW. He already got heavy pressure for being unable to finish off 452. (Not that he wanted to do it so easily, he needed to know where his son was so seeing as she had almost no way out he made a leeway. On purpose. Damn her.)

Looking around he found a passageway to the hospital that he could use to get in without getting seen. He looked at his companions for today who were rented to him for the duration of the day to catch the intruders. He nodded and told them to follow him.

(~.^)

Jace sat in the driver's seat ready to go any second now. She kept the engine on. Alec and Max were sitting in front of a computer screen looking at the plans of the hospital and the dots that were moving on it. Those were their teammates. Max was giving out direction to group 2 so they can get out of there faster and Alec was looking for possible exit strategies for group 3. Lucky was in front of the door with a gun ready. He was on the look out for anything weird outside.

As White's car came into view he just smiled and said "Speak of the devil". Barely minutes ago they were discussing how this was going to get harder once some weirdo hit-squad or White and his goons appeared. Sadly it was both. As Lucky saw group 2 coming out of a garbage dump shoot he came out and went into their direction.

"You got it?"

"Oh we got it all and even a bit extra."

As they all settled into the van, now came the hard part getting group 3 out of a locked surrounded room.

(~.^)

White walked down the hallways. He long since seperated from the hit-squad and went around looking on his own. Everytime he was on call he hoped it was 452. He dreamed of finding her, making her tell him where Ray is and then killing her and bringing her body before Conclave to redeem himself. Sadly it was harder to make her talk then to just kill her. He needed a plan. After the last time, when she almost got killed he realized that now that they knew where she was and her usual patterns it was just a matter of time before she was dead. Question is what did he have to do to mak her tell him? He thought long and hard over what he should do and he finally realized what it was. He wasn't going to like it but what wouldn't he do for Ray.

(~.^)

The situation was heating up. More and more regular familiars and even the hit squad were closing in on the part of the building where group 3 locked themselves in. If they didn't find a way out now they would have to fight through all of them together and would have no chance anymore. At least if they left now they could evade most of them. Max gave the green light and told everyone else to gear up, they were going to clear the exits and part of the way for them. However what happened next was unprecedented.

Communication devices and loud speakers said "This is White. I know the location of transgenics. They are near basement entrance and planning to use underground passage to escape. All units report there immediately close of the area and see if they already passed through."

Much to the confusion of transgenics who just entered from the garbage shoot into second floor and those locked in the nursery with crying future familiars. Because they werenowehere near the basement... at all. What was White up to?

As Group 3 heard the diminishing footsteps on the outside they slowly got out of the sidedoors. But right in front of them was none other the WHITE! Strangely he didn't attack or even have his gun out of it's holster. He said "This way." pointing to the left corridor "Now!" and as they reluctantly followed out of pure shock and need to get away, he led them down. White was surprised when he saw Max and another group of small trnasgenics in the stairway. Max was up the flight of stairs and kicked him swiftly in head, or tried but he blocked it and said "We don't have time for this fou... Max". He let go of her foot, caught her hand and dragged her by the hand after him. Leading them down to second floor he led them back to that same garbage shoot.

"Go! Now!"

"Why are you doing this?"

"We don't have time just go!"

"Fine! But you better explain this soon. What would your precious Conclave say?"

"Max! Just go. Meet me here and I will explain everything." White said passing her a folded piece of paper.

She looked at him strangely, suspiciously and went then in she went. He closed the shoot, went back to first floor to the basement. He took out a knife and sliced his cheek, not deeply but made sure if was bleeding a lot. The he went back down to basement. Walking in he looked around.

"Anyone yet?"

"No, we haven't found them yet sir and no one tried to approach."

"Did you check inside the tunnel?"

"Sir?"

Growling White passed the guard and went up to the back of the boiler room with a few of the hit squad on his trail. He looked and there was some blood on the handle and an open door that led to the underground tunnels.

"Imbeciles! Elite hit squad, they said! But all I got is idiots who let transgenics get away with our files! I will be reporting this. This is on you."

Of course what they didn't know is that the blood was from a transgenic and that he set it all up before he even contacted them on the comms. 'So far, so good. Now on to the hard part.' thought Ames with satisfaction.

(~.^)(^.~)

Please leave reviews. Thank you Navidasti for the follow. Knowing there was even 1 person following me, made me keep writing this and finally figure out where this is going even though I didn't when I started.


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